Canine Etiquette
Prerequisites: None
Is your dog picking fights at the dog park? Getting picked on? Is your dog uncontrollable
when he or she sees another dog? Does your dog practice good canine social skills, or is
your dog socially inept or completely anti-social?
Dogs are social animals that choose to live in packs. Dog packs have social guidelines,
just like groups of people have social guidelines. You and your family are your dog’s pack.
If you are not giving your dog the right guidelines, you are setting your dog up for social
failure – or worse, for a fight. It is your job (not other dogs’ jobs) to meet your dog’s
physical and psychological needs. To do that, you must understand and expect appropriate
social behavior from your dog.
I want you to think of your dog’s behavior in two categories: Anti-social and Socially
Acceptable.
In the dog world, just like in the human world, socially acceptable behavior is vital for
getting along well with others. If you were at a bus stop, who would you want to be there
with? A bunch of weirdos who were threatening you with verbal abuse or weapons? How about
a bunch of really overly-friendly, huggy-touchy-feely-freaky folks you’d never met before?
Or, would you rather be at a bus stop with people who were politely minding their own business?
Perhaps if you saw the same group of people at the same bus stop over a period of
weeks or months, you would become more interested in interacting with them. But not that
first time, correct?
Dogs, when meeting other dogs for the first time, need the same kind of space and distance
you need at the bus stop.
More importantly, your dog needs calm, assertive behavior from its pack leader. If your
dog sees that you are calm and assertive (you are in charge of how meetings and greeting go)
, your dog is much more likely to be calm and submissive – therefore avoiding conflict.
But, if your dog is being anti-social and you don’t do anything about it, chances are your
dog will continue its inappropriate behavior. OR, if another dog is being anti-social, and
you don’t do anything to protect your dog, your dog will have to also become anti-social
to protect itself. Pretty simple, right?
But what exactly do I mean by Anti-social behavior? If your dog is nervous, insecure,
fearful, anxious, tense, excited, territorial, dominant, obsessive, possessive, or
aggressive when it meets other dogs, it is being anti-social!
Ok, so what is 'Socially Acceptable' canine behavior? A dog who is being social, and that
other dogs will usually see as being social, is a dog who is two things:
1.calm
2. submissive
Calm, submissive behavior is the only acceptable social behavior for your dog to exhibit
when meeting another dog. If your dog is doing anything else, it is your responsibility
to stop the anti-social behavior.
How do you really know your dog is being anti-social? Your dog speaks a language all its
own. Your dog uses body language more than anything else to express how it’s feeling.
Let’s take a look at some examples of canine body language of dogs who are both socially
acceptable and those who are anti-social.
Step One: Greetings
“Come a little closer” (Dogs doing these behaviors are interested in meeting the other dog
or person politely.)
A dog with good manners:
- avoids a ‘hard stare’ or direct eye contact
- has a ‘soft eye’ – may be squinting or blinking
- hold its ears back softly
- lowers its body into a sitting or lying down position
- has a loose, low wagging tail
- mouth may be open and panting, or closed but relaxed
- has relaxed, loose muscles
- allows sniffing
More Good Manners (Calming Signals & Appeasement…these dogs are giving signals to those
around them to keep everyone calm and avoid conflicts)
A dog with good manners:
- approaches other dogs in an arcing pattern – ‘kidney bean routine’
- moves slowly
- avoids hard stare
- allows and does light inguinal sniffing
- turns head away from other dogs
- licks its own nose & lips repeatedly
- yawns at other dogs, or stretches slowly
- sniffs the ground
- sits or lies down
- rolls onto its back
- stands silently, gazing off
- takes a drink
- urinates/defecates
- grooms or scratches itself
- holds slow-motion play bow
- Two dogs with good manners sit quietly, shoulders turned to each other
Appeasement (A dog doing these behaviors feels a bit uncomfortable and is trying to avoid
conflict by calming itself and those around it.)
- sitting, making itself small
- tail held low and close to body, may wag
- ears held back softly
- averts gaze
- rolls onto back
- lifts one paw
- lip-licking
“I’m Over-excited”
An over-excited, anti-social dog has its hackles up and:
- is bouncing off people, other dogs, and objects, but not really interested in them or
their reactions
- is vocalizing loudly, excitedly, or frantically
“Back Off!”
A dog who is upset and needs distance:
- has dilated eyes, with the whites showingA dog who is upset and needs distance has its
ears pulled back tensely and tightly against its head
- may have its hackles up
- has tense body muscles
- has its tail held low and tight against body
- may be snarling, baring its teeth (teeth often close together, lips drawn back)
“I’m Tough!”
A dog who is looking for conflict:
- is staring directly at another dog or person
- holds its ears erect, or held tensely back
- has its hackles up
- has a stiff wagging tail, held straight out, up high, or even arched over back
- may be leaning forward
- does a stiff-legged, prancing gait with arched neck
- will ‘T-off’ (T-ing off means putting its chin or front paws over the shoulders of
another dog.)
- exhibits freezing & body tension, with direct hard stare
- escalates with baring of teeth & forward momentum
If your dog is doing any of the above 'over-excited,' 'I'm tough,' or 'back off!' body
language, you must intervene and teach it to behave appropriately. Do not attempt to do
this without instruction from a professional.
Step Two: Play
Good Play
Dogs playing appropriately:
- will often play bow (stretching front legs forward, rump in the air
- have a balance between top and bottom wrestling positions
- use low intensity vocalizations
- display open-mouth play biting
- will play ‘tag’ or chase games (with or without toys)
- will keep ‘four on the floor’ (all four feet on the floor, unless they’re wrestling,
with one dog on its back)
Bad Play
Dogs who are playing inappropriately:
- will try to control all of the play
- won’t quit when other dog wants to
- use mounting behavior (climbing on other dogs)
- box with their forepaws
- slam chests
- run into and body slam each other
- place chin or front legs over other dog’s shoulders
If your dog is doing any of the above 'bad play' behaviors, you must intervene and teach
it to play appropriately. Do not attempt to do this without instruction from a professional.